ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
