he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
