Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
