OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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