this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
