He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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