omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
