...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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