You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
