I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
