The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
