I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He felt like a one man threesome
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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