She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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