i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
