Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
