This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
