Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
