I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
