Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
