Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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