Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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