and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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