White coat. Heels.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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