lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
