Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
