So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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