Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
