Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
