Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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