My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
