These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
