You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
