Welp...herpes.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
