Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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