After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
