i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm getting married
To pizza
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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