i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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