Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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