please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
