Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
