I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
