remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
