Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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