how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Randomize
