I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
