i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
