I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize