Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
