you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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