im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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