I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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