Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We won't sleep together?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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