After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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