I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
