I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
