I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
