I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
