Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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