Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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