Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
