so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
