you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
