why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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