This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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